Over the years, many have approached me with the same question: “What are the most important skills in communication and connecting with others?” Some seem to believe there are “secret hacks” from NLP and other disciplines that can dramatically enhance their interactions.

I’ve heard various pieces of advice from my peers – such as “mirroring,” “sitting at right angle,” or using specific words and phrases like “yes, and…”. While these techniques can be helpful, even more powerful habits are just hidden in plain sight.

From the moment we enter this world, we are immersed in a rich tapestry of communication. Our parents, relatives, schoolmates, teachers, friends, and neighbors have all contributed to shaping our communication skills over the years. Yet, as time passes, we may lose sight of some of those simple, effective skills, develop unhelpful habits, or adopt ineffective strategies.

If you were to ask me what a universal communication skills workshop should entail, I would emphasize the following five powerful skills – habits you can re-learn and strengthen immediately to enhance your life:

1. Show respect: This is the cornerstone of effective communication. Regardless of whether you’re speaking with peers, supervisors, friends, or even negotiation opponents, showing respect is paramount. This doesn’t mean placing yourself in a subordinate position; rather, view others as equal partners. Learn from them and appreciate their perspectives.
2. Make Eye Contact: In face-to-face interactions, eye contact is crucial. It conveys attention and engagement. There’s no need to stare; simply maintaining eye contact intermittently signals that you are present and invested in the conversation. This subtle cue fosters a sense of connection that can transform interactions. Even in remote video sessions, looking at the camera from time to time will also signal the others your presence and connection.
3. Pause and Listen: In the midst of sharing your thoughts, remember the power of silence. Allow space for others to process, respond, or contribute. Continuous talking without breaks can stifle communication, regardless of how valuable your message may be. Embrace pauses – they invite dialogue and enrich understanding. Also, really listen and observe. The other party may be sending signals through both verbal and non-verbal means. Your objective is to explore the meaning, not find arguments or justifications. True communication is not a debate match – mutual understanding takes priority.
4. Adjust and Provide Feedback: Communication is inherently interactive. No one enjoys conversing with a “black hole.” Encourage a dynamic exchange by responding thoughtfully. Acknowledge what the other person says and share your ideas. If someone struggles to understand your message, adapt your approach. Use stories, metaphors, or simpler language to bridge gaps in understanding.
5. Be Curious: Every encounter offers an opportunity to learn – not just about others, but also about yourself. Cultivating curiosity allows you to explore different viewpoints and values, fostering deeper connections. Ask questions and engage sincerely in the other person’s world; this practice opens doors to understanding that may surprise you.

While there are numerous techniques and skills that can enhance communication, these five foundational habits are essential for establishing meaningful connections and fostering productive interactions.

As we step into 2025, let’s commit to refining our communication skills through these powerful principles. Imagine the impact we can have – not just in our personal relationships, but in our professional lives as well. By embracing respect, attentiveness, listening, adaptability, and curiosity, we can create a culture of open dialogue.